A letter to her not to me
I help you to post it on this page now
I know you will angry about but i really want she know about this
This letter wrote on 29/06/2004 0300hrs
A voice from your deep heart
Anywhere, I hope she can read it and know about your feeling to her
From the truely eyes of me...
You will never age for me,
You will never fade for me,
You will never die for me...
Let's my hand hold your heart...
Bring you Joy...
Bring you Love...
Bring you Life...
Let's my heart enthral you follow the rest of you life...
Miss you so much...
Friday, August 24, 2007
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Last time and now
Last time, this blog is all about you
Yourself, your life, your mother, your happiness, your sadness, your lifestyle etc etc...
And you wrote for it.
Now, this blog is all about you too
My feeling to you, life without you, my sadness when you not around my side etc etc...
And i write for it.
by Yuki
Yourself, your life, your mother, your happiness, your sadness, your lifestyle etc etc...
And you wrote for it.
Now, this blog is all about you too
My feeling to you, life without you, my sadness when you not around my side etc etc...
And i write for it.
by Yuki
Sunday, April 29, 2007
Re: The day i always remember you...
Today,
To my beloved dearest mother…
You are always in my heart with your blessing and caring,
Without you, I will never able to walk alone over all this moment…
Without you, I will never come to this so far…
Love and miss you forever.
To my beloved dearest mother…
You are always in my heart with your blessing and caring,
Without you, I will never able to walk alone over all this moment…
Without you, I will never come to this so far…
Love and miss you forever.
Friday, April 20, 2007
Re : Exhausted
Lately, feel exhausted with my work.
Running here and there.. Project work and school training one after another…
Just make myself almost cannot take my breath easily…
Feel very tired after long day training in school, feel very empty after everyday need to come back to HQ for paper work even after working hour…
Have a lots paper work and follow up need to be done… stacking one another in front of myself. Some time.. I just don’t know how to settle all those work in my mind.
The team is expanded very big… more school training and project come once with another. From logistic planning, follow up with all those problem, project work come in at the same time… really just kill me.
Working in the team is very harmony, each team member really help each others. We do have lots of fun and great moment to bond together. Just only too many works come in at the same time… just make every one exhaust from the daily work.
I do training up some of the people in the team to follow and help the team move forward. But.. poor things is all those people also like become another “astley” who work in HQ and I don’t wish to see them like that and follow my foot step when work in the company.
I do admit I help out the team a lots specially block all those nonsense bullet.. some how, I think that’s is the only things i can help for the team. I am has been try as hard as I can to “protect” them, I wish my team were happy to work in the company.
I am remember one of the team member told me before… “Astley, do you feel pathetic?”
Pathetic?...
Yes.. I do..
I do feel pathetic for myself when I am very tired with my life for almost about one and a half year to do so…
Some time I just feel myself I do not have a space to let me speak out…
Even I am say out loud, who is the person beside me and understand what I mention about?
Every single word, when reach over to my mouth, when I am wish to say it out… I am just push it back in to my stomach…
I am just realizing no one just beside me…
Every week, I am just push myself move forward to meet her even i am feel tired or even only have less then 48 hours to be with her… myself really cannot feel my heart wish to do so… I am just wear out completely.
Like wise, every day when I am tired after my work… just wish to hold some one hand, have a nice chat, and talk about the day… I just cannot found or feel any one beside me.
Even I am wish some one who can give me a simple hand rub after my long day work… I just cannot found or feel any one beside me.
I am almost lost all my motivation in this stage. That is why I am say myself is so pathetic.
I do ask myself.. What I am looking for.. ?
Now.. I really have no idea what I need…
I don’t know how long I can hold on..
I don’t know how much time will take and wear me off…
I am just only can sit here and wait for the time to come…
Running here and there.. Project work and school training one after another…
Just make myself almost cannot take my breath easily…
Feel very tired after long day training in school, feel very empty after everyday need to come back to HQ for paper work even after working hour…
Have a lots paper work and follow up need to be done… stacking one another in front of myself. Some time.. I just don’t know how to settle all those work in my mind.
The team is expanded very big… more school training and project come once with another. From logistic planning, follow up with all those problem, project work come in at the same time… really just kill me.
Working in the team is very harmony, each team member really help each others. We do have lots of fun and great moment to bond together. Just only too many works come in at the same time… just make every one exhaust from the daily work.
I do training up some of the people in the team to follow and help the team move forward. But.. poor things is all those people also like become another “astley” who work in HQ and I don’t wish to see them like that and follow my foot step when work in the company.
I do admit I help out the team a lots specially block all those nonsense bullet.. some how, I think that’s is the only things i can help for the team. I am has been try as hard as I can to “protect” them, I wish my team were happy to work in the company.
I am remember one of the team member told me before… “Astley, do you feel pathetic?”
Pathetic?...
Yes.. I do..
I do feel pathetic for myself when I am very tired with my life for almost about one and a half year to do so…
Some time I just feel myself I do not have a space to let me speak out…
Even I am say out loud, who is the person beside me and understand what I mention about?
Every single word, when reach over to my mouth, when I am wish to say it out… I am just push it back in to my stomach…
I am just realizing no one just beside me…
Every week, I am just push myself move forward to meet her even i am feel tired or even only have less then 48 hours to be with her… myself really cannot feel my heart wish to do so… I am just wear out completely.
Like wise, every day when I am tired after my work… just wish to hold some one hand, have a nice chat, and talk about the day… I just cannot found or feel any one beside me.
Even I am wish some one who can give me a simple hand rub after my long day work… I just cannot found or feel any one beside me.
I am almost lost all my motivation in this stage. That is why I am say myself is so pathetic.
I do ask myself.. What I am looking for.. ?
Now.. I really have no idea what I need…
I don’t know how long I can hold on..
I don’t know how much time will take and wear me off…
I am just only can sit here and wait for the time to come…
Saturday, April 14, 2007
Re: Picasso - Part 01
When I was young, had been inspired by most of the “Artistic Painter” like…
Leonardo da Vinci (1452 ~ 1519)
Pablo Picasso (1881 ~ 1973)
Vincent Willem van Gogh (1853 ~1890 )
Gustav Klimt (1862 ~ 1918)
Willem de Kooning (1904 ~ 1997)
During that time, I just wonder why all those Master had so demiurgic mind set to draw and paint with their art work.
My favorite Master Artist Painter is Pablo Picasso (1881 ~ 1973), who is one of the most recognized artist in 20th century art.
In the age of 9, Picasso has train by his father José Ruiz y Blasco (1838-1913) who also was a Spanish painter and art teacher.
Picasso also attended carpenter schools throughout his childhood but he never finished his college-level course of study at the Academy of Arts (Academia de San Fernando) in Madrid.
The most funny part for this Master Artist is… His full name is Pablo Diego José Francisco de Paula Juan Nepomuceno María de los Remedios Cipriano de la Santísima Trinidad Clito Ruiz y Picasso.
Blue Period (1901–1904)
Rose Period (1905–1907)
African-influenced Period (1908–1909)
Analytic Cubism (1909–1912)
Synthetic Cubism (1912–1919).
Here is his some of the artwork...
The Rose Period signifies the time when the style of Pablo Picasso's painting used cheerful orange and pink colours in contrast to the cool, sombre tones of the previous Blue Period. It lasted from 1905 to 1907. He was happy in his relationship with Fernande Olivier whom he had met in 1904 and this has been suggested as one of the possible reasons he changed his style of painting.
Lately, I was using Picasso unique painting style to teach all my primary school students in their Digital Art courses in infocomm club multimedia training.
Their just using Adobe Photoshop build in plug in (filters) like Liquify, Artistic Cutout, Fresco, Palette Knife, Dry Brush can do the job very well.
Some how, all my kids love to play the Liquify effects when they learn the photoshop skill set. I am also creating small project work for them like create “Picasso-look-a-like” master artwork. I am name the project work as “Picasso Jr.”
Leonardo da Vinci (1452 ~ 1519)
Pablo Picasso (1881 ~ 1973)
Vincent Willem van Gogh (1853 ~1890 )
Gustav Klimt (1862 ~ 1918)
Willem de Kooning (1904 ~ 1997)
During that time, I just wonder why all those Master had so demiurgic mind set to draw and paint with their art work.
My favorite Master Artist Painter is Pablo Picasso (1881 ~ 1973), who is one of the most recognized artist in 20th century art.
Pablo Picasso (1881 ~ 1973)
In the age of 9, Picasso has train by his father José Ruiz y Blasco (1838-1913) who also was a Spanish painter and art teacher.
Picasso also attended carpenter schools throughout his childhood but he never finished his college-level course of study at the Academy of Arts (Academia de San Fernando) in Madrid.
The most funny part for this Master Artist is… His full name is Pablo Diego José Francisco de Paula Juan Nepomuceno María de los Remedios Cipriano de la Santísima Trinidad Clito Ruiz y Picasso.
Blue Period (1901–1904)
Rose Period (1905–1907)
African-influenced Period (1908–1909)
Analytic Cubism (1909–1912)
Synthetic Cubism (1912–1919).
Here is his some of the artwork...
The Old Guitarist (Year 1903)
Blue Period (1901–1904)
Les_Demoiselles_d'Avignon(Year 1907)
Rose Period (1905–1907)
Garçon à la pipe (Year 1905)
Rose Period (1905–1907)
This is Picasso highest selling painting. Calling prices tag at USD$111.2 millions.
Picasso's highest selling painting, Garçon à la pipe (Boy with a pipe) was painted during this Rose Period.The Rose Period signifies the time when the style of Pablo Picasso's painting used cheerful orange and pink colours in contrast to the cool, sombre tones of the previous Blue Period. It lasted from 1905 to 1907. He was happy in his relationship with Fernande Olivier whom he had met in 1904 and this has been suggested as one of the possible reasons he changed his style of painting.
Lately, I was using Picasso unique painting style to teach all my primary school students in their Digital Art courses in infocomm club multimedia training.
Their just using Adobe Photoshop build in plug in (filters) like Liquify, Artistic Cutout, Fresco, Palette Knife, Dry Brush can do the job very well.
Some how, all my kids love to play the Liquify effects when they learn the photoshop skill set. I am also creating small project work for them like create “Picasso-look-a-like” master artwork. I am name the project work as “Picasso Jr.”
Sunday, April 01, 2007
Re: 愛錯
愛錯 - 李心潔
當雨滴落在窗口 等你一起過來
當雨滴落在窗口 等你一起過來
你低頭不語 我不想現在面對
我們選擇愛情 還是愛情選擇我們
當時愛的勇氣 都跑到那裡去
還記得你要帶我去的天堂
還記得你要帶我去的天堂
如今只剩下天邊一絲彩霞
日落的這一刻 我的心沒太陽
還有什麼理由 還有什麼結果
還有什麼理由 還有什麼結果
要我否認你的錯
輸了你的承諾 輸了你的曾經
說過要一直愛我
還有什麼理由
還有什麼理由
輸了你的承諾 輸了你的曾經
過要一直愛我
p/s: To remember 30/03... 4th years anniversary.
p/s: To remember 30/03... 4th years anniversary.
I devote wholly and earnestly for the pass in my life.
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Re: 雨
风... 吹过大地
带走忙碌的一天
谁... 背上行囊
独自走的一段路程
雨... 打在手上
一路飘摇和苦涩
我... 转过街口
伸手触摸远处的风尘
here is japanese version....
風... 大地に吹きます
忙しい一日を持って
誰... 旅行用の袋を背負い
独りで歩く 道のり
雨... 手中にあること上で打ちます
いっしょに翻るのがと苦くて渋いです
私... 道の入口を回転したこと
手を伸ばして 遠いの風と塵に触れます
Monday, March 12, 2007
Re: 从前,现在和将来.
从前…因为我的无知, 做了不该的事情…
因为这样… 我从中自我学习…
现在…因为我的了解, 回想过去的点滴…
因为这样… 我要自己从不重复以前的步伐…
将来…因为我的明白, 知道我要的东西
因为这样…我从不后悔的信任妳给我的一切…
因为我知道… 我一直都做到…
从前,现在和将来.
因为这样… 我从中自我学习…
现在…因为我的了解, 回想过去的点滴…
因为这样… 我要自己从不重复以前的步伐…
将来…因为我的明白, 知道我要的东西
因为这样…我从不后悔的信任妳给我的一切…
因为我知道… 我一直都做到…
从前,现在和将来.
Re: "那是你, 不是我"...
为什麽永远都把以前的东西拿来做比较?
和我在一起那麽久... 妳感觉不到我对妳的爱吗?
当妳说"那是你, 不是我"...
妳有想一想我的感受吗?
妳说妳很难受和害怕那种感受...
我比妳更不好受...
和我在一起那麽久... 妳感觉不到我对妳的爱吗?
当妳说"那是你, 不是我"...
妳有想一想我的感受吗?
妳说妳很难受和害怕那种感受...
我比妳更不好受...
Saturday, March 03, 2007
Re: 放下
很多事情, 我不问… 不代表我不知道.
很多事情, 我不说… 不代表我不在意.
我只是不想说吧了…
如果我问… 代表妳还隐瞒着我.
如果我说… 代表妳心还没放下.
为何要我问? 我问了… 妳会回答吗？
为何要我说? 我说了… 妳会承认吗？
我给妳空间, 我是不想让我自己没有呼吸的地方.
我给妳信任, 我是不想让我自己有怀疑妳的机会.
妳说过妳会＂放下＂… 但妳常常和他接触…
妳会放得下吗？
当我知道妳还和他接触… 妳知道我会多在意吗？
对不起… 我不小心知道昨晚妳又和他通过电话…
我真的不是有意的.
很多事情, 我不说… 不代表我不在意.
我只是不想说吧了…
如果我问… 代表妳还隐瞒着我.
如果我说… 代表妳心还没放下.
为何要我问? 我问了… 妳会回答吗？
为何要我说? 我说了… 妳会承认吗？
我给妳空间, 我是不想让我自己没有呼吸的地方.
我给妳信任, 我是不想让我自己有怀疑妳的机会.
妳说过妳会＂放下＂… 但妳常常和他接触…
妳会放得下吗？
当我知道妳还和他接触… 妳知道我会多在意吗？
对不起… 我不小心知道昨晚妳又和他通过电话…
我真的不是有意的.
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Re: 傾聽
看着蓝色的天空, 心里想着是悲伤还是快乐呢?
风中吹着妳的味道, 那妳又在那里呢?
夜里闭着我眼睛, 用心去感受和妳在梦中相约…
看到妳熟睡的样子, 那妳又梦见谁呢?
我心里的话… 妳又听见吗?
我每次閉上眼睛去探尋,可能会發生的事情…
是因为我不想要太多不必要的打擾和原因.
我專心傾聽… 妳心裡面的呼吸
我專心傾聽… 妳生命裡的聲音
我梦里的心… 妳又看见吗?
风中吹着妳的味道, 那妳又在那里呢?
夜里闭着我眼睛, 用心去感受和妳在梦中相约…
看到妳熟睡的样子, 那妳又梦见谁呢?
我心里的话… 妳又听见吗?
我每次閉上眼睛去探尋,可能会發生的事情…
是因为我不想要太多不必要的打擾和原因.
我專心傾聽… 妳心裡面的呼吸
我專心傾聽… 妳生命裡的聲音
我梦里的心… 妳又看见吗?
Sunday, January 14, 2007
Re: Fever
This few days...
Have an abnormally high body temperature.
Feel very very tired.
Outside...
Rain have fall from heaven more then few days.
Just make me not feeling well...
Every time after the training session in school
Don't wish to going back to office...
The air condition in office just like freezer
Just... too cold.
Might cought cold from that moment...
And just make me not feeling for this few days.
Anyway...
Now i have some reason to get myself rest for few days.
Have an abnormally high body temperature.
Feel very very tired.
Outside...
Rain have fall from heaven more then few days.
Just make me not feeling well...
Every time after the training session in school
Don't wish to going back to office...
The air condition in office just like freezer
Just... too cold.
Might cought cold from that moment...
And just make me not feeling for this few days.
Anyway...
Now i have some reason to get myself rest for few days.
Friday, January 05, 2007
Re: 風になる
風になる
忘れていた目を閉じて 取り戻せ恋のうた
青空に隠れている 手を伸ばしてもう一度
忘れないですぐそばに 僕がいるいつの日も
星空を眺めている 一人きりの夜明けも
たった一つの心 悲しみに暮れないで
君のためいきなんて 春風に変えてやる
陽のあたる坂道を 自転車で駆けのぼる
君と失くした想い出乗せて行くよ
ララララ 口ずさむ くちびるを染めて行く
君と見つけたしあわせ花のように
忘れていた窓開けて 走り出せ恋のうた
青空に託している 手をかざしてもう一度
忘れないよすぐそばに 君がいるいつの日も
星空に輝いてる 涙揺れる明日も
たった一つの言葉 この胸に抱きしめて
君のため僕は今 春風に吹かれてる
陽のあたる坂道を 自転車で駆けのぼる
君と誓った約束乗せて行くよ
ララララ 口ずさむ くちびるを染めて行く
君と出会えたしあわせ祈るように
君と出会えたしあわせ祈るように
忘れていた目を閉じて 取り戻せ恋のうた
青空に隠れている 手を伸ばしてもう一度
忘れないですぐそばに 僕がいるいつの日も
星空を眺めている 一人きりの夜明けも
たった一つの心 悲しみに暮れないで
君のためいきなんて 春風に変えてやる
陽のあたる坂道を 自転車で駆けのぼる
君と失くした想い出乗せて行くよ
ララララ 口ずさむ くちびるを染めて行く
君と見つけたしあわせ花のように
忘れていた窓開けて 走り出せ恋のうた
青空に託している 手をかざしてもう一度
忘れないよすぐそばに 君がいるいつの日も
星空に輝いてる 涙揺れる明日も
たった一つの言葉 この胸に抱きしめて
君のため僕は今 春風に吹かれてる
陽のあたる坂道を 自転車で駆けのぼる
君と誓った約束乗せて行くよ
ララララ 口ずさむ くちびるを染めて行く
君と出会えたしあわせ祈るように
君と出会えたしあわせ祈るように
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
Re: Wishes vs Expectation.
New Year, New Day…
New resolution for the up coming year.
Lots of people already have some new plan and resolution in New Year.
Wishing themselves doing much better and doing well in they way.
What is your New Year resolution?
I get myself a piece of paper…
Write down all my wishes and resolution for someone…
Wishing hard for up coming year…
Will doing well and better for us.
I told myself I will try as hard as I can…
Make all those wishes to come true…
Just for my expectation for someone.
That is my New Year resolution…
Some how…
Do you expect what you will get in the end of the time?
What you wish for… may not is your expectation.
Always… Manage your expectation before you make any wishes.
It will better to be that way.
New resolution for the up coming year.
Lots of people already have some new plan and resolution in New Year.
Wishing themselves doing much better and doing well in they way.
What is your New Year resolution?
I get myself a piece of paper…
Write down all my wishes and resolution for someone…
Wishing hard for up coming year…
Will doing well and better for us.
I told myself I will try as hard as I can…
Make all those wishes to come true…
Just for my expectation for someone.
That is my New Year resolution…
Some how…
Do you expect what you will get in the end of the time?
What you wish for… may not is your expectation.
Always… Manage your expectation before you make any wishes.
It will better to be that way.
Monday, January 01, 2007
Re: 菊花台
妳 的淚光 柔弱中帶傷
慘白的月彎彎 勾住過往
夜 太漫長 凝結成了霜
是誰在閣樓上 冰冷的絕望
雨 輕輕彈 朱紅色的窗
我一生在紙上 被風吹亂
夢 在遠方 化成一縷香
隨風飄散 妳的模樣
菊花殘 滿地傷 妳的笑容已泛黃
花落人斷腸 我心事靜靜躺
北風亂 夜未央 妳的影子剪不斷
徒留我孤單 在湖面成雙
花 已向晚 飄落了燦爛
凋謝的世道上 命運不堪
愁 莫渡江 秋心拆兩半
怕妳上不了岸 一輩子搖晃
誰 的江山 馬蹄聲狂亂
我一身的戎裝 呼嘯滄桑
天 微微亮 妳輕聲的嘆
一夜惆悵 如此委婉
慘白的月彎彎 勾住過往
夜 太漫長 凝結成了霜
是誰在閣樓上 冰冷的絕望
雨 輕輕彈 朱紅色的窗
我一生在紙上 被風吹亂
夢 在遠方 化成一縷香
隨風飄散 妳的模樣
菊花殘 滿地傷 妳的笑容已泛黃
花落人斷腸 我心事靜靜躺
北風亂 夜未央 妳的影子剪不斷
徒留我孤單 在湖面成雙
花 已向晚 飄落了燦爛
凋謝的世道上 命運不堪
愁 莫渡江 秋心拆兩半
怕妳上不了岸 一輩子搖晃
誰 的江山 馬蹄聲狂亂
我一身的戎裝 呼嘯滄桑
天 微微亮 妳輕聲的嘆
一夜惆悵 如此委婉
Thursday, December 21, 2006
Re: 被動
long time ago never listen this song...
Today... just out of sudden i heard this song...
我可以很久不和你聯絡
任日子一天天這麼過
讓自己忙碌可以當作藉口
逃避想念你的種種軟弱
我可以學會對你很冷漠
為何學不會將愛沒收
面對你是對我最大的折磨
這些年始終沒有對你說
愛你越久我越被動 祗因你的愛居無定所
是你讓我的心慢慢退縮 退到你看不見的角落
愛你越久我越被動 祗因我的愛不再為你揮霍
是我讓我的心失去自由 卻再也沒有勇氣放縱
Today... just out of sudden i heard this song...
我可以很久不和你聯絡
任日子一天天這麼過
讓自己忙碌可以當作藉口
逃避想念你的種種軟弱
我可以學會對你很冷漠
為何學不會將愛沒收
面對你是對我最大的折磨
這些年始終沒有對你說
愛你越久我越被動 祗因你的愛居無定所
是你讓我的心慢慢退縮 退到你看不見的角落
愛你越久我越被動 祗因我的愛不再為你揮霍
是我讓我的心失去自由 卻再也沒有勇氣放縱
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Re: Coffee and Cigarettes
Rain... Keep on falling down lately.
Remind me i had been gone throught those cold and wet season...
From the bottom of my heart.. even throught out the period of time.
I am not a regular smoker... but i do smoke lately.
Maybe the raining session? or maybe something elsa?
I am not a regular coffee drinker... but i had a cup of white coffee everyday.
Why? I have no idea...
I ask myself why now a day i get addicted with coffee and cigarette lately?
I not use to it for last time, not even single sip or a puff.
But lately... just try to release myself for a moment.
For cigarette, maybe just this period of time...
After all i can stop for never smoking again.. this one for sure i know myself.
For coffee, i don't know...
I never try this one before...
I remember i watch an award winner movie before "Coffee and Cigarettes"...
Remind me i had been gone throught those cold and wet season...
From the bottom of my heart.. even throught out the period of time.
I am not a regular smoker... but i do smoke lately.
Maybe the raining session? or maybe something elsa?
I am not a regular coffee drinker... but i had a cup of white coffee everyday.
Why? I have no idea...
I ask myself why now a day i get addicted with coffee and cigarette lately?
I not use to it for last time, not even single sip or a puff.
But lately... just try to release myself for a moment.
For cigarette, maybe just this period of time...
After all i can stop for never smoking again.. this one for sure i know myself.
For coffee, i don't know...
I never try this one before...
I remember i watch an award winner movie before "Coffee and Cigarettes"...
Directed by Jim Jarmusch, 2003.
Whole movie shoot in black and white,
Yet, only seeing people sitting down in the coffee shop,
having a conversation with each other, a cup of coffee and holding a cigarette in another hand.
just a daily life what is happening around in the corner. that's all.
This movie is so artistic...
Don't expect have a big action pack or superb story hidden in the script.
Just have an idea what is going on between person to person on the coffee table throught out the conversation and talking.
This movie, it might be very boring to some body...
But for me... those session might be happen to you someday.
you might even never realize it just happen to you.
It just a normal daily life in and out in your day.
Over the time when i write this blog,
I almost finish a cup of rich and creamy white coffee...
Outside...
Rain still keep on falling down.
Whole movie shoot in black and white,
Yet, only seeing people sitting down in the coffee shop,
having a conversation with each other, a cup of coffee and holding a cigarette in another hand.
just a daily life what is happening around in the corner. that's all.
This movie is so artistic...
Don't expect have a big action pack or superb story hidden in the script.
Just have an idea what is going on between person to person on the coffee table throught out the conversation and talking.
This movie, it might be very boring to some body...
But for me... those session might be happen to you someday.
you might even never realize it just happen to you.
It just a normal daily life in and out in your day.
Over the time when i write this blog,
I almost finish a cup of rich and creamy white coffee...
Outside...
Rain still keep on falling down.
Monday, December 18, 2006
Re: Christmas
聖誕節
我住的城巿從不下雪
記憶卻堆滿冷的感覺
思念的旺季
霓虹掃過喧嘩的街
把快樂趕得好遠
落單的戀人最怕過節
只能獨自慶祝儘量喝醉
我愛過的人
沒有一個留在身邊
寂寞它陪我過夜
Marry Marry Christmas
Lonely Lonely Christmas
想祝福不知該給誰
愛被我們打了死結
Lonely Lonely Christmas
Marry Marry Christmas
寫了卡片能寄給誰
心碎的像街上的紙屑
電話不接 不要被人
發現我整夜都關在房間
狂歡的笑聲 聽來像哀悼的音樂
眼眶的淚 溫熱凍結
望著電視裡的無聊節目
癱在沙發上 變成沒知覺的植物
誰來陪我過這聖誕節...
我住的城巿從不下雪
記憶卻堆滿冷的感覺
思念的旺季
霓虹掃過喧嘩的街
把快樂趕得好遠
落單的戀人最怕過節
只能獨自慶祝儘量喝醉
我愛過的人
沒有一個留在身邊
寂寞它陪我過夜
Marry Marry Christmas
Lonely Lonely Christmas
想祝福不知該給誰
愛被我們打了死結
Lonely Lonely Christmas
Marry Marry Christmas
寫了卡片能寄給誰
心碎的像街上的紙屑
電話不接 不要被人
發現我整夜都關在房間
狂歡的笑聲 聽來像哀悼的音樂
眼眶的淚 溫熱凍結
望著電視裡的無聊節目
癱在沙發上 變成沒知覺的植物
誰來陪我過這聖誕節...
Monday, December 11, 2006
Re: Shadow
When I see "Shadow"... it only reminds me unhappiness, darkness, sorrow and a reflection image.
What is the meaning for you?
Long time ago, I walk from the darkness, behave the sorrow along the time…
Just like you…
Suffer the pain I never had before…
Suffer the loneliness I never face before…
Scare of people… Scare of myself.
Always scare to facing the facts… don’t wish to tell the feeling to the world…
Just wish to put it into the place that deep inside my heart.
Cover with depression, conceal with the broken heart.
Let the pain burn my soul… let the sadness torture my spirit.
Avoid everything and evade anything.
Especially myself.
From the time, only understand and sense the mono tone surround within my world.
The darkness shadow covers the entire life and block out the meaningless of life.
It make me weak… it make me wear out.
It makes me exhausted.
Always carry the “Shadow”… I felt myself so tired. So lonely.
Mind set always recall the moment that cherish between myself and the other.
Just make me more dislike to break off with the memories.
Just make me disagree the fact is true.
Just make me can’t help myself.
I cry… I sorrow…
Some one say, I lost out the real person of myself.
Never see me fall down so hard, not even stand up with my bare feet.
Or, push up and sustain my body balance when I down to earth.
People worry, people pay serious attention…
I am still suffering the pain within my soul.
Time passer by…
Leave only the fact that I need to outward to be with…
Unwillingly to let it be…
Offering resistance to believe…
Same like you…
Lack of the confidence and faith with love…
Absence my trust to life and some one…
Uncertainty on the integrity of belief to everyone else...
Just wish that is the end of my time…
Down to six feet under… bury myself forever.
But, do you understand how does it feel when some one is care about you?
I only selfish to apply the pain to some one who loves me…
Just like using a knife stab into the heart, torn up the soul from the body…
Penetrate the mortal and let it bleed to dead…
Make other people soul cry in helpless.
Just like you at this moment…
When I knew, the shadow still attached within your soul.
Covering your heart and recall all your sadness memories…
Let yourself hard to leave it alone…
Even the truth is acceptable with you mind.
Do you know how I feel?
I understand myself if never pull out from the darkness… I will be forever trap inside the evil soul…
I don’t wish to see myself like that… even bare in front your eyes…
I don’t wish to see you cry… cry for my soul.
I try so hard to let myself free…
Free from the darkness… leave the sorrow away and leave it to the shadow.
Let the shadow carry away… carry away all my misery and pain.
I wish to walk away from the darkness, waiting the new light shine upon myself…
If anything happen, will only let it be wait over here…
In the room of my heart, wait for me like a stone…
I try so hard to do that…
Just wish the room forever close deep inside my soul.
Never will be review or expose any more.
The door will shut, shut with the key from my heart.
Seal up the room and never let the light reach over here forever.
Let the darkness band with the shadow.
Let the shadow melt into the darkness.
Depart the shadow forever…
Visible in my outward appearance…
Only let your love warmth beneath my heart.
Let the time be my counterpart and heal my scar.
I know is hard to move past… but once I be through to the moment.
I set my soul free.
I believe it…
With your shadow, I hope you can submerge the pass into the room that I mention before, seal the shadow within the room…
Let the darkness band with your shadow… let the shadow melt into darkness.
Only you can help yourself within your heart… I only can wait for you at the surface and help you out from there.
Once you are out from the past, I can let my light shine upon you.
Not using my light to cast the shadow behind of you.
I am not the substitute of the shadow… I am not the alternate of the darkness.
I am jealous…
When you set the appearance in a similar for standing with me to your shadow…
I am reluctant that you are commemorating the past of it…
I am be discordant what you think of me and confront myself with it…
I am strongly guard and scramble when you compensate me…
But I only silent myself and let you feel I am not like that…
Just wish you to feel I am there for you…
No matter how, No matter when, No matter where…
I just be there for you.
Last…
Wish you understand and conceive what ever you have at this moment…
Cherish what you have… Cherish what you own…
With my love, I am asseveration for you…
Pledge my heart and soul for you ever after.
With Love,
Love only you forever.
What is the meaning for you?
Long time ago, I walk from the darkness, behave the sorrow along the time…
Just like you…
Suffer the pain I never had before…
Suffer the loneliness I never face before…
Scare of people… Scare of myself.
Always scare to facing the facts… don’t wish to tell the feeling to the world…
Just wish to put it into the place that deep inside my heart.
Cover with depression, conceal with the broken heart.
Let the pain burn my soul… let the sadness torture my spirit.
Avoid everything and evade anything.
Especially myself.
From the time, only understand and sense the mono tone surround within my world.
The darkness shadow covers the entire life and block out the meaningless of life.
It make me weak… it make me wear out.
It makes me exhausted.
Always carry the “Shadow”… I felt myself so tired. So lonely.
Mind set always recall the moment that cherish between myself and the other.
Just make me more dislike to break off with the memories.
Just make me disagree the fact is true.
Just make me can’t help myself.
I cry… I sorrow…
Some one say, I lost out the real person of myself.
Never see me fall down so hard, not even stand up with my bare feet.
Or, push up and sustain my body balance when I down to earth.
People worry, people pay serious attention…
I am still suffering the pain within my soul.
Time passer by…
Leave only the fact that I need to outward to be with…
Unwillingly to let it be…
Offering resistance to believe…
Same like you…
Lack of the confidence and faith with love…
Absence my trust to life and some one…
Uncertainty on the integrity of belief to everyone else...
Just wish that is the end of my time…
Down to six feet under… bury myself forever.
But, do you understand how does it feel when some one is care about you?
I only selfish to apply the pain to some one who loves me…
Just like using a knife stab into the heart, torn up the soul from the body…
Penetrate the mortal and let it bleed to dead…
Make other people soul cry in helpless.
Just like you at this moment…
When I knew, the shadow still attached within your soul.
Covering your heart and recall all your sadness memories…
Let yourself hard to leave it alone…
Even the truth is acceptable with you mind.
Do you know how I feel?
I understand myself if never pull out from the darkness… I will be forever trap inside the evil soul…
I don’t wish to see myself like that… even bare in front your eyes…
I don’t wish to see you cry… cry for my soul.
I try so hard to let myself free…
Free from the darkness… leave the sorrow away and leave it to the shadow.
Let the shadow carry away… carry away all my misery and pain.
I wish to walk away from the darkness, waiting the new light shine upon myself…
If anything happen, will only let it be wait over here…
In the room of my heart, wait for me like a stone…
I try so hard to do that…
Just wish the room forever close deep inside my soul.
Never will be review or expose any more.
The door will shut, shut with the key from my heart.
Seal up the room and never let the light reach over here forever.
Let the darkness band with the shadow.
Let the shadow melt into the darkness.
Depart the shadow forever…
Visible in my outward appearance…
Only let your love warmth beneath my heart.
Let the time be my counterpart and heal my scar.
I know is hard to move past… but once I be through to the moment.
I set my soul free.
I believe it…
With your shadow, I hope you can submerge the pass into the room that I mention before, seal the shadow within the room…
Let the darkness band with your shadow… let the shadow melt into darkness.
Only you can help yourself within your heart… I only can wait for you at the surface and help you out from there.
Once you are out from the past, I can let my light shine upon you.
Not using my light to cast the shadow behind of you.
I am not the substitute of the shadow… I am not the alternate of the darkness.
I am jealous…
When you set the appearance in a similar for standing with me to your shadow…
I am reluctant that you are commemorating the past of it…
I am be discordant what you think of me and confront myself with it…
I am strongly guard and scramble when you compensate me…
But I only silent myself and let you feel I am not like that…
Just wish you to feel I am there for you…
No matter how, No matter when, No matter where…
I just be there for you.
Last…
Wish you understand and conceive what ever you have at this moment…
Cherish what you have… Cherish what you own…
With my love, I am asseveration for you…
Pledge my heart and soul for you ever after.
With Love,
Love only you forever.
Monday, December 04, 2006
Re: Fear
Never set a sleep for whole night long…
I almost forget how many shot of vodka I had been taken…
Just smudge with dazzle and psychotically tired over my mind.
Only know sitting in front of my note book and write down all my feeling…
I wish to tell you about my feeling…
But I don’t dare to talk to you.
Mind set and my heart has been block out with emotional matter, feel so bad and torment with myself…
I am so scared…
What I had been done? Why?...
Went for a walk in the middle of the night…
Just can’t felt myself in the darkness on the road.
I am felt cold and lonely in the dark.
I felt abandoned…
Where are you?
I just can’t help myself.
I almost forget how many shot of vodka I had been taken…
Just smudge with dazzle and psychotically tired over my mind.
Only know sitting in front of my note book and write down all my feeling…
I wish to tell you about my feeling…
But I don’t dare to talk to you.
Mind set and my heart has been block out with emotional matter, feel so bad and torment with myself…
I am so scared…
What I had been done? Why?...
Went for a walk in the middle of the night…
Just can’t felt myself in the darkness on the road.
I am felt cold and lonely in the dark.
I felt abandoned…
Where are you?
I just can’t help myself.
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