Re: APRIL

April

Month of Mellow... Month of Sorrow...

I use to like the name of "April" since my younger day.
I was born in month of "April"... My birthday is fall within the month..
Feel happy and i can celebrate my day...

April make me feel so warm and gracious...

Some how...
April become the month of sorrow to me forever...

Mum pass away in my day... leaving behind the cherish memories and forever love in the deep side of my heart.

Feel lost when she leave me alone druing the year 2004...
At that moment.. i am lost myself once...

I was promise myself... i am no longer to celebrate my day any more cos that is the day is to remember her love to me... I will going back and be with her for a small gethering when the day is come...

I am just miss her so much...

This year...
Before April step in...
In 30/03...

First wave of my sorrow has been badly hit over to me...
Leave me alone and cry for sadness...

Remember her all the moment and until now... still cannot accept the fact.
Even i am no longer have her in my heart... but feel sorrow for myself she leave me alone over here...

I am also feel sorry to my mum... her son was suffer the sadness and tolerate so much of pain over the time...
Even until right of this moment...

Mum... I am sorry and make you worry about me... please forgive me...

Second wave also already hit over me... as predicted...
The memories of her...
Leaving her forever with the acknowledgement from some one...
With the admit from herself? or with some one elsa? I really dont know...

Feel that i really cannot do anything...
Feel so helpless with her...
Feel sadness within my heart...

Thrid wave will hit over me soon...
On the day before Easter...
Who remember by Christians in commemoration of the crucifixion of Jesus...

For me... the day will be forever leave behind of my matrimony...
Left a stain and smudge mark within my heart...
Sorrow and sadness which i am suffer for so long...
No one care about how i am been leave alone and lonely over here...

The last... and the fourth wave will expect appearance in my day...
Some how really don't have any idea what will happen...
And now... really don't wish to know...
Just wish to keep myself ready to face the fact.

Lots of people say to me...
"Astley... you looks so tired..."
"Please take a good rest.."
"Please take care yourself..."

I only can smile for return... don't feel to say anything about.

Regardless of any extenuating circumstances...
I will try to stay on until last of the moment...
Or i should say... Will i make myself over the month of April?

April by this year...
Sorrow and Sadness will forever hit with me...
Leave me all alone in the way...
Leave me suffer the pain of sorrow...

Last.. i just wish to tell my mum..

Mum.. I am sorry... Kheong make you worry about...
Please forgive me...